Post by JIMBOTOPGUN on Apr 18, 2003 0:40:05 GMT -8
A DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN
Argument
(ar*gyou*ment):n.
A discussion that occurs when you're
right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead
(er*head): n.
What a woman intentionally becomes
when pulled over by a Police Officer.
Bar-be-que
(bar*bi*q): n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions,
marinated the meat and cleaned everything
up - but he "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes
(blond joks):n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe
(kant*e*lope):n.
Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer
(kloze dri*yer):n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet soda
(dy*it so*da):n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store
to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity
(e*ter*ni*tee):n.
The last two minutes
of a football game.
Exercise
(ex*er*siz): v.
To walk up and down a mall,
occasionally resting to make
a purchase.
Grocery list
(grow*ser*ee list): n
What you spend half an hour writing,
then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair dresser
(hare dres*er): n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will
never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware store
(hard*war stor): n.
Similar to a black hole in space - if he
goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth
(child*brth): n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions;
he gets to hold your hand and say,
"focus....breathe...push..."
Lipstick
(lip*stik): n.
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty
of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only
a tramp would wear...!
Park
(park): v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning,
"to go somewhere and neck."
After children, a noun meaning a
place with a swing set and slide.
Patience
(pa*shens): n.
The most important ingredient for dating,
marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof mascara
(wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah): n.
Comes off if you cry, shower or swim,
but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day
(val*en*tinez dae): n.
A day when you have dreams of a
candle light dinner, diamonds and
romance, but consider yourself
lucky to get a card. ;D
Argument
(ar*gyou*ment):n.
A discussion that occurs when you're
right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead
(er*head): n.
What a woman intentionally becomes
when pulled over by a Police Officer.
Bar-be-que
(bar*bi*q): n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions,
marinated the meat and cleaned everything
up - but he "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes
(blond joks):n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe
(kant*e*lope):n.
Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer
(kloze dri*yer):n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet soda
(dy*it so*da):n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store
to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity
(e*ter*ni*tee):n.
The last two minutes
of a football game.
Exercise
(ex*er*siz): v.
To walk up and down a mall,
occasionally resting to make
a purchase.
Grocery list
(grow*ser*ee list): n
What you spend half an hour writing,
then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair dresser
(hare dres*er): n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will
never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware store
(hard*war stor): n.
Similar to a black hole in space - if he
goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth
(child*brth): n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions;
he gets to hold your hand and say,
"focus....breathe...push..."
Lipstick
(lip*stik): n.
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty
of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only
a tramp would wear...!
Park
(park): v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning,
"to go somewhere and neck."
After children, a noun meaning a
place with a swing set and slide.
Patience
(pa*shens): n.
The most important ingredient for dating,
marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof mascara
(wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah): n.
Comes off if you cry, shower or swim,
but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day
(val*en*tinez dae): n.
A day when you have dreams of a
candle light dinner, diamonds and
romance, but consider yourself
lucky to get a card. ;D